It’s not always pretty but if you hear me out I will try to make it worth your while. This chapter is probably not safe for work so make sure your earbuds are connected, only listen in the car if you’re by yourself or at home after you put the kids to bed. Not everything in the Bible is rated G.

Leviticus 15

The LORD spoke to Moses and to Aaron, saying:

2 “Speak to the children of Israel, and say to them ‘When any man has a discharge issue out of his flesh, because of the issue he is unclean.

3 And this shall be his uncleanness in his issue: whether his flesh runs with his issue, or his flesh be stopped from his issue, it is his uncleanness.

4 Every bed that he lies on is unclean: and everything that he sits on shall be unclean.

5 Whoever touches his bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening.

6 He that sits on anything that he with the issue sat on shall wash his clothes, bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening.

7 And he that touches the flesh of him that has the issue shall wash his clothes, bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening.

8 If he that has the issue spit on him that is clean; then he shall wash his clothes, bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening.

9 A saddle that he rides on that has the issue shall be unclean.

10 And whoever touches anything that was under him shall be unclean until evening. He that carries any of those things shall wash his clothes, bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening.

11 Whoever he touches that has the issue, and has not rinsed his hands in water, he shall wash his clothes, bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening.

12 Any vessel of earth, that he with the issue touches, shall be broken: and every vessel of wood shall be rinsed in water.

13 When he that has an issue is cleansed of his issue; then he shall number to himself seven days for his cleansing, and wash his clothes, and bathe his flesh in running water, and shall be clean.

14 And on the eighth day he shall take two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, and come before the LORD to the door of the tent of meeting, and give them to the priest:

15 The priest shall offer them, the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make atonement for him before the LORD for his issue.

16 If a man has an emission of semen, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until evening.

17 And every garment, and every skin, that has the emission of semen on it, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until evening.

18 The woman also with the man that has the emission of semen, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until evening.

19 If a woman has an issue, and her issue in her flesh is blood, she shall be separated seven days: and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening. 

20 And everything that she lies upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing that she sits on shall be unclean.

21 Whoever touches her bed shall wash his clothes, bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening.

22 And whoever touches anything that she sat on shall wash his clothes, bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening.

23 If it is on her bed, or on anything where she sits, when he touches it, he shall be unclean until evening.

24 If any man lies with her at all, and the blood of her menstruation gets on him, he shall be unclean seven days; and the bed that he lies on shall be unclean.

25 If a woman has an issue of her blood for many days outside of the time of her separation, or if it flows beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean. 

26 Every bed that she lies on all the days of her issue shall be like the bed of her separation to her: and whatever she sits on shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation.

27 Anyone who touches those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, bathe himself in water, and be unclean until evening. 

28 But if she is cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean.

29 And on the eighth day she shall take two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, and bring them to the priest, to the door of the tent of meeting.

30 The priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness. 

31 So you shall separate the children of Israel from their uncleanness; that they do not die in their uncleanness, when they defile my tabernacle that is among them.

32 This is the law of him that hath a discharge issue, and of him who has an emission of semen, and is defiled by it; 

33 Of her that is in her menstrual period, of anyone with an issue, man or woman, and of him that lies with her that is unclean.'”

See also: Leviticus 15 in ESV, HCSB, NASB and NIV via Bible Gateway.